Let’s face it. We all lie. Sometimes it is simply easier to tell our best friend we love her new shoes (really! they’re cute!) than to tell her the truth and make her feel bad for spending her emergency funds on those hideous booties. No harm, no foul, right? Would it be ok with you if she told you the same lie?
So what happens when the lies become less innocent? If you can lie to your best friend about her fashion savvy, can you also conceal the crush you have on her husband?
The truth means different things to different people, and the boundaries of lying and truth-telling are dependent upon a variety of factors. Regardless, trust and transparency are the cornerstone of any healthy relationship — the more intimate the relationship, the more vital it is to tell the truth. You may not expect the truth from a used car salesman or an Instagram ad, but you probably do expect it from your spouse, partner or lover.
Have you and your partner established boundaries around transparency and honesty? If not, it may be important to consider whether or not your partner is willing to participate in such an exercise. If your relationship lingers under suspicion for an extended period, taking a polygraph exam may be a way to reconcile your uncertainty, one way or the other. Then the real question is, will having answers put your mind at ease?
It is important to ask yourself these questions as a precursor to any polygraph exam, as they will help you establish an intention for the overall process. If you cannot trust someone, will a polygraph exam really alleviate your concerns? Preparing yourself for a variety of outcomes is a great first step, because sometimes the truth is not all that we bargained for.
