Definition of infidelity
1a: the act or fact of having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than one’s husband, wife, or partner
1b: unfaithfulness to a moral obligation: DISLOYALTY
2: lack of belief in a religion
Definition of sexual harassment:
the uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature especially by a person in authority toward a subordinate (such as an employee or student.
Definition of lie detector:
a polygraph for detecting physiological evidence (such as a change in heart rate) of the tension that accompanies lying
Do you suspect your partner is cheating on you? Are they distant? Preoccupied? Losing weight? Working out? New hairstyle? Or are they quiet, depressed, and more submissive? Are they suddenly desperate to get a new job or want to drop out of school? Do they seem depressed and secretive? Do you have a “gut” feeling that something just isn’t right in your relationship?
Webster’s Dictionary may have one definition for Infidelity, but as people involved in infidelity know, the reasons for infidelity are not easily defined or explained. As the significant other of someone who cheated, would it make a difference to you WHY they cheated? It should!
A professional polygraph examination can not only discover whether your partner has cheated but can also inquire as to the reason why. Finding out your partner has been unfaithful may lead to catastrophic actions such as divorce, disputes in child custody, severe financial losses, and a significant change in lifestyle. Understanding WHY a sexual discretion occurred may help you reframe the issue and save your relationship, marriage, or family. According to Cathy Meyer, a Master Certified Relationship and Certified Marriage Educator and Founding Managing Editor of DivorcedMoms.com – the leading resource and community for divorced moms, cheating typically falls into 5 categories. In a recent article, she wrote:
Each case of infidelity is different and fulfills a different need. Although knowing why a partner cheated likely won’t lessen any pain you feel, being able to rationalize the behavior and define it will alleviate some confusion. It can also help you feel more confident in how to move forward from the situation — whether that means working on healing your relationship or moving on should you decide to split up.
Opportunistic infidelity occurs when one is in love and attached to their partner, but succumbs to their sexual desire for someone else. Typically, this type of cheating is driven by situational circumstances or opportunity, risk-taking behavior, and alcohol or drug use. As social psychologist Theresa E. DiDonato says, “Not every act of infidelity is premeditated and driven by dissatisfaction with a current relationship…Maybe they were drinking or in some other way thrown into an opportunity they didn’t anticipate.”
After the fact, the more in love a person is with their partner, the more guilt they will experience as a result of their sexual encounter. However, feelings of guilt tend to fade as the fear of being caught subsides.
This type of infidelity is based on the fear that resisting someone’s sexual advances will result in rejection. People may have feelings of sexual desire, love, and attachment for a partner, but still, end up cheating because they have a strong need for approval. In addition, their need for approval can cause them to act in ways that are at odds with their other feelings. In other words, some people cheat, not because they want to cheat, but because they need the approval that comes along with having the attention of others
“Sometimes (but not always) a deficit in an existing relationship leads people to have extradyadic affairs,” says DiDonato. This type of infidelity occurs when the cheater has little emotional attachment to their partner. They may be committed to their marriage and making it work, but they long for an intimate, loving connection with someone else. More than likely, their commitment to the marriage will prevent them from ever leaving their spouse. Romantic infidelity means pain for the other man or woman and the cheating partner—rarely does it turn into a long-term, committed relationship.
Marital problems have to be quite severe before a spouse will leave the marriage for another person.
Conflicted Romantic Infidelity
This type of infidelity occurs when people experience genuine love and sexual desire for more than one person at a time. Despite our idealistic notions of having only one true love, it is possible to experience intense romantic love for multiple people at the same time. While such situations are emotionally possible, they are very complicated and tend to create a lot of anxiety and stress. In this case, cheating partners, in their attempt not to cause anyone harm, often end up hurting everyone.
This type of infidelity occurs when a person is in a committed relationship but has no feelings for their partner. There is no sexual desire or love or attachment, only a sense of obligation keeping the couple together. “Lacking love and lacking commitment to a current romantic partner are both tied to general feelings of relationship dissatisfaction,” says DiDonato.
These people justify cheating by telling themselves they have the right to look for what they are not getting in their present relationship. Unfulfilled sexual desires can easily come into play here. “Maybe in their established relationship, individuals aren’t engaging in the frequency of sex, style of sex, or specific sexual behaviors that they want,” DiDonato adds. “This can contribute to their reasons to cheat.”
I submit Ms. Meyer’s overlooked sexual harassment as a cause of infidelity. California courts have long held when it comes to sleeping with your boss to keep your job, a claim of sexual harassment is warranted. People v. Cassandras, 83 Cal. App. 2d 272 – Cal: Court of Appeal, 1948. For decades, sexual harassment claims have been upheld in the workplace for requiring sex to get a job, keep a job, get a promotion, vacation, or other privileges.
The MeToo Movement may have brought these longstanding issues into the social media spotlight, but sex in the workplace to seek advancement or to stay employed is deeply rooted in human culture.
Even though there may be many reasons for infidelity, a polygraph examination can be the answer. A polygraph examination is made to “detect physiological evidence (such as a change in heart rate) of the tension that accompanies lying.” A well-trained polygraph examiner interprets the physiological evidence and can determine, with a 98% probability, if the examinee is truthful. A professionally administered examination can not only determine whether infidelity occurred but with a separate examination, can often untangle the reason why. Although heartbreaking, it would be invaluable to know WHY your partner was unfaithful: we’re they drunk? unhappy in the relationship or did they have sex with their boss to keep their job or gain a promotion?
Consider using polygraphs to answer your relationship questions. After all the talks and tears and accusations, find out the truth. Your future peace of mind may depend on it. Get in touch to find out more about polygraphs.